Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Predator Birds To Be Used In Border Control

The Bureau of Customs & Borders has announced that a trial project is being implemented to control our southern borders by using predator birds as "eyes-in-the-skies" & as an interdiction method when illegal aliens are discovered crossing the border.

Bureau spokesman Thomas Fulery said that if successful, the experimental project will become another valuable tool along the entire 2,000 mile southern border.

The idea was conceived at the Department of Genetic Engineering, UCLA. Small predator birds, such as the hawk & falcon were genetically altered to increase their size & aggressiveness. In a ten year research project, the birds eventually developed a 50 - 80 pound body weight. Their wing spans now reach 7 1/2 feet.

From the lab to the border:

A Border Patrol Officer studying at UCLA happened to come across the project & with some insight realized that these birds could be used on the border. The concept is simple. These birds would patrol the border night & day. They would carry day/night vision cameras which would broadcast to a ground monitoring unit. The Border Patrol in turn would send out officers to any suspicious areas where these birds spotted illegal aliens crossing the border.

These birds are trained to stalk any border crossers until the Border Patrol arrives. The large size & wing span of the birds would have such an intimidating factor that any border crossers would return to Mexico or passively wait until Border Patrol arrived.

Spokesman Fulery stated that the test period so far has been an enormous success with a record number of apprehensions. He did admit to some short-comings, such as losing control of some hawks. On their own, the hawks swooped down on the illegals & snatched some in their talons & flew them off to their very large nests up in the Muy Caliente Mountains. Fulery estimated that 17 Mexicans have thus far been taken by the birds. Though manhunts were initiated, only human bones have been found near the nests. In a moment of dark humor, Fulery stated, " The birds got a meal & the illegals got their just desert".



Border agents prepare to send genetically altered parakeet on its first border patrol mission

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